In 2015, I had my first ever serious relationship and it was with a girl. I was 21 and for the first time, I was deeply in love. I never felt anything like it with any guy I dated in the past. During this time, I have fully accepted the gay identity and was convinced that I was born that way. I was determined to marry her but the thought of it being wrong bothered me so one day I asked God “Can I marry her? Is it okay with you?”. Despite me not being religious, I still wanted God to bless us and be part of the relationship. And ultimately, I wanted the truth about homosexuality.
One night, my girlfriend and I smoked weed. I started seeing words in front of me. In my head, I thought I was having a bad trip. I saw the words “PRAY TO JESUS”, “JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY”, “BE BORN AGAIN” and “SEX IS SACRED”. Then I saw a Bible. Two hands opened the Bible. One hand started pointing inside it while a voice kept telling me to “READ THE BIBLE”. I was going to ask “Why?” but before I can even say it, the voice answered, “BECAUSE I WROTE IT”. That moment I knew it was God. Then I saw a man and a woman facing each other like in a wedding ceremony. They were glowing. This tells me that marriage is between a man and a woman.
God answered my questions. I shared with my girlfriend everything I saw and we both knew there was a decision to be made. There is no doubt that what I experienced was a divine intervention. Days after this experience, a Christian shared with me the Bible verse about being ‘born again’. It was a command by Jesus in John 3:3. I had never heard of the words ‘Be Born Again’ prior to that experience and seeing it in the Bible left me in awe. I was forever changed.
No one convinced me or brainwashed me to leave the LGBT lifestyle. It was a decision I needed to make after God revealed to me the truth. It’s either I follow God or I reject Him and continue to live my way. I choose to follow God every day of my life. It is truly by God’s grace and mercy that I am able to deny my fleshly desires that war against Him. My desire to be with the same-sex eventually faded. Dying to my fleshly desires every day to honour God is not easy but it is the best decision anyone can ever make. Nothing can compare to the joy of truly knowing Him. I now understand that I am not defined by my feelings and emotions. I am who He says I am. The more I study the Word of God and the plethora of evidence for the existence of God, there is no convincing me back into thinking that He made a mistake in creating me female.