In the course of time whilst playing on the green at the back of the street, which was known as the tip, an older lad who lived in the same street invited me to come with him and some other boys who were also young, to the nearby granary and stables adjacent to the steelworks. Looking back I can see the boy’s predatory look and invite, but at the time thought nothing of it. So I went along and then, things were suggested that resulted in kissing, nakedness, masturbation and other things even to the extent of enacting full sex. This carried on over the weeks, for a short period of time and on the last occasion another older lad tagged along and didn’t get involved. He said to me as we were leaving the place Simon if you do that it means you are a bummer. Shortly ! after this, the whole thing was brought into the light, at the back of the street by the other guy who tagged along. This was done in front of the predator’s mother and my mother along with some of the kids from the street (minus the full details). I denied it along with the others, but a boy from the other village gave me the look that he didn’t believe me. The result of all this, was my dad got informed and I stood before him while he sat in his arm chair and questioned me, each time denying it to his face several times. Looking back I wish I had told the truth, but was afraid of what my dad would do. This happened around the age of eight and carried on and off, with only the older guy, till the time I went to comprehensive school. Sometimes this guy would go after me and other times it would be the other way round, my sexuality was awoken and I would notice guys and girls. I hid this dark secret well ! and acted normal, but there were times when I felt so dirty and over come by shame, I felt convicted, guilt ridden fearful of hell and God. Words cannot articulate what all this baggage felt like, torment, depression, oppression, fear, also the thought of, if only I had been abused, then it could be brought out in the open. There was always the fear of what my dad would do if he found out, as a consequence of all this I found it hard to fit in and connect with others, and to a degree self rejection and the rejection of others was my portion along with a grinning face. During this time frame I had my first epileptic fit in school assembly after failing a proficiency bike test, and was in hospital for a week with no ill effects (my bampi was also epileptic). As my junior years were coming to an end the excitement of going to comprehensive was looming, it was at this time during the my early comp years that there was a move of God in Ebbw Vale Apostolic Church. The move of God consisted of after Church meetings lasting till twelve at night, dancing in the Spirit, the baptism of the Spirit and more young people receiving spiritual gifts along with going to every church’s mid week meeting in the whole district and whole lot of other things. Whilst this move of God was going on I confided my dark secret to young man named Ian Morris who was in his mid teens. Ian became a good friend he prophesied over me and said Satan had a grip on my life but that I was forgiven then God started to move on me. Ian and I would have bible studies down his parents house along with some other teenagers, which greatly edified me. At this time I desired to be baptised in the Holy Spirit, Ian prayed for me and I spoke a tongue that was Amanda! Amanda! Of course this was not the real deal I frequently spoke out the tongue in meetings. My Dad, Uncle and Sister knew I wasn’t baptised in the Spirit, but didn’t have the heart to tell me. However one night in an after Church service, I sought God myself ! for a refilling so I thought: with my head bowed down on the pew. All of the sudden ! I was aware of the Spirit descending upon me with unknown tongues, which I shouted out at the top of my voice. After ! my dad came up to me and said, now you are baptised in the Holy Spirit. During this time I had a stronger hunger for God and would read the bible in open public worship on a Sunday morning in my local Church, I also learned to pray by praying publicly. Moreover by Grandmother introduced me to the Every Day With Jesus devotional written by Selwyn Hughs, an aid which I still use. These were good years along with my interest in music and enjoying rock bands such as U2, the alarm,Cliff Richard, Sheila Walsh, George Michael and many others.